Speaking Without Words
How what we wear takes on deeper meaning in transgender journeys
I was having a wonderful discussion with some dear friends last night (thank you Chris and Eloise!) about Arketype One, the clothing label for femme-identifying trans folx I’m building. In amongst it all we were pondering the importance of clothes in a trans person’s journey.
At one point, Chris said:
“Clothes are your voice when you’re not speaking.”
On the current version of the Arketype website, I have written (emphasis added):
“…we realise that what we wear has a massive impact on our confidence in showing up in the world as we truly are. While this is true for many folx, for transgender women what may be seen as mere garments take on a heightened importance in expressing our self-identity.”
I am enamoured with how Chris’ words express this so poetically. Often trans folx have a lot of perceptual barriers to break through—both internal and external. For a feminine presenting trans woman, there are potentially physical ‘barriers’ too—our physiology may not be speaking to that part of our story.
In our conversation, I expressed to Chris that when I walk into a room or meet a new person, I want to be ‘announcing’ (for want of a better word) that I am a woman—that a woman has entered the room. And I choose the things I wear—my clothes, my shoes, my jewellery, my makeup, the way I do my hair—to be speaking some of that truth for me.
If I’m lacking confidence or am anxious, as I was yesterday going to a meeting with a new person to design some shoes—more on that soon!—I will go to extra efforts to choose things that speak to my femininity, that have meaning to me in my journey, and that I feel super confident in.
In this way, I am employing my clothes to do some of the ‘heavy lifting’, so I can intellectually and emotionally put (some of) that mental and emotional load down, and focus on being me. Rather than feeling like I have to invest energy in breaking through potential (mis-)perceptions, I can be my most confident, aware and present self.
In my experience, this is more than just positioning ourselves within our ‘tribe.’ For example, that I’m a musician (in my rocker-chic outfit with Docs), a creative designer (in my vintage-vibe blouse), or a business person (wearing my suit), or whatever other social construct I’m wanting to align myself with.
It’s about expressing my gender identity—something that is core to who I am, not something I put on or take off to match the situation.
Another way to look at it… while a cisgender woman faces a lot of barriers to acceptance in our patriarchal society, in our current age—after much hard fought and won ‘concessions’—a woman can wear a ‘boyish’ outfit and still be ‘read’ as a woman. This core part of their identity—their gender—is far less likely to be questioned or challenged, just based on their clothing choices on a given day.
In this way, a trans person's clothing speaks louder, speaks a deeper truth. The consternation that might arise for a cisgender woman about what to wear for a given context or situation; the decision making process—what clothes should I wear today—isn't as consequential.
I'm curious about others' perspectives on this. Do you agree? Disagree? What’s been your experience? I’d love to hear from you in the comments…